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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Wal Mart and Fat People

    Ok, last week i was forced to do the most boring, repeticious, degrading job known to man....You know the annoying, old, senile people who make you feel awkward everytime you walk into Wal-Mart?  The people who make you wonder if you accidentally drove to the nursing home instead of everyone's favorite reatailer?  Well for 3 days i was forced to be one of those people....The Wal-Mart door greeter.  For 3 full days i had to stand there in front of the door as stupid people continually walk by with a brainless smirk on their face. I mean sersiously, why couldnt they just put Mel the mentally unfortunate cart pusher there instead of me?  I dont know how many times i was asked "Hey, arent you suppose to be old?"  Im not sure if these people thought they were being clever or funny by asking such a moronic question but i had to keep my cool and answer nicely.

    A trend that i very quickly noticed was the amount of obese people that waddle their way into Wal-Mart every day (especially on the grocery side).  I was growing more and more disgusted as these plump folk waited in line for the electric carts and then bulldozed their way to the deli like a herd of starving cattle.  It was amusing watching them glare at the boneless bbq wings as if they were a tiger stalking its prey.

   Watching all of these wide people gave me an idea.  So while i was standing there "busy" being useless and bored i decided to keep count of all of the horizontally advanced characters that i see enter Wal-Mart. Now i know that the idea of tallying fat people may seem offensive to some of you but for those of you who do find it offensive....either get a life or lose some weight...(no offense).  Keep in mind that i only counted the obviously huge people.  If they're only chunky, they didnt make the list.

   So the first day greeting i ended up counting 216 obese people in 3 hrs and 45 minures while greeting on the grocery side.  The first hour 10:15-11:15 i counted 52 fat people.  The second hour 11:15-12:15 i counted 51 fat people.  The third hour 12:15-1:15 i counted 61 people (i concluded that this must've been feeding time). 

   The second day they made me greet in the garden center.  This proved to be most boring day because the garden center is the slowest section of the store.  I only counted 71 fat people in 5 hrs and 15 minutes.

   On the third day (which was a Friday) the fat people stampeded into Wal-Mart as if it was there last chance to feed that day.  I counted a grand total of 395 fat people in 4 hours on the grocery side (The last hour was cut 5 minutes short so im sure that the total wouldve exceeded 400.  Just imagine, almost 100 fat people per hour!

    What made me angry while watching all these fat people is there unwillingness to get better.  Now i understand that some people are comfortable with being fat (and more power to them) but for people who act like being obese is a disability (parking in the handicap spot, illegally parking to minimize the amount of effort of walking to the store, or using the electric cart...) i think its stupid and disgusting.  It is kind of funny watching them shop though...watching their faces light up when they see the snack cakes section like a kid at Disney World is hilarious.

 

 


Sunday, July 23, 2006

Warren the bisexual pagan

      My last entry was about Mentally Slow Mel so this one will be about Warren the bisexual pagan. Warren is probably the least liked employee at Washington Wal Mart. Most people see him as creepy, annoying, whiny, and lazy. Most of these people are right although sometimes i think that certain stories about Warren are unfairly exaggerated.

      I think the most interesting characteristic about Warren is his openess.  I remember when he told me he was bisexual.  I was commenting on a male cashier who was very feminine.  I believe my comment was something like "that guy has to be gay" (or something like that)....Anyway, Warren disagreed with me saying "oh no, he definately isnt gay." So i asked him how he knew and he responded very bluntly "because im bisexual" naturally i didnt know what to say...I think i just said something like "oh really?" "wow!" "never knew that.." He went on to tell me to please not tell anybody and that he just told me because he trusted me. Later on i made a comment to Aaron i said "you know, i never realized how many gay people work at Wal-Mart..." Soon after i said that i realized that Warren told Aaron too. In the next few days, more and more people told me about Warren and ive realized that he told like everyone and said the same thing to them all about him trusting them and stuff.  He told Jake, Aaron, Sal, myself, a few cashiers, and some chick in the deli. His big mistake was telling Sal. Sal told a stockman named Shane who really dislikes Warren.  So of course the whole store knew in a couple of days.

     About two months ago we got a new stockman named Chuck.  On Chuck's very first day, Warren went on to tell him about his lesbian dominatrix girlfriend and how he enjoys having phone sex with her. Now remember, this is Chuck's very first day and first time meeting Warren! That is just not something that you tell someone when you first introduce yourself....Lol, later on that night, Chuck came over to my side and said "please dont ever make me work with him again..." Another funny (and quite disturbing) story about Warren involves NFL football players and a banana.....I was talking about a tv show where a man got kicked in his nuts by an NFL kicker in order to receive a free video game. Warren then made a gross comment about how he would like to get raped by an NFL player for a free video game...(somehow i get the feeling that he would like to get raped by an NFL player if he was getting a free video game or not)...The whole thing with the banana went like this....I was telling Warren a story about an old friend of mine (Fred) who i played a trick on...(My friend Keith and i called Fred and acted like the gay guy who had a crush on Fred...Fred is very gullable so he was believing us and was becoming very pissed....anyway we were saying vulgar things to Fred, some of which included a banana.) So Fred walked into Wal-Mart and i started talking to him and brought up that old prank that i played on him.  Warren was present at the time and when when he heard me mention the vulgar banana thing he blurted out "Oh! Ive done that!"....lol, I dont want to get into any details about what he did but i think that you could figure it out...

     Warren believes in some weird shit too.  He thinks that he was visited by demons more then once.  He believes that he has special powers given to him by the pagan gods. Since ive worked at Wal Mart, he has claimed multiple times that he caused the storm that was going on at the time....even though the weather was forecasted to storm like days prior too this event...Anyway, he says that he prays to the water god (or whatever god it is) to rain so he wouldnt have to push carts anymore...i find it kindof funny that he never tells us that it is going to rain before it happens....hmmm.....  He also told Aaron and me that he lost his powers for two weeks because the gods became angry with him when he used his powers for destructive purposes.  What he said he did was he prayed for his sister's boyfriend to get into a car accident and apparantly he actually wrecked....He says that there were two women in the car with the guy when this happened and the accident caused one of them to have a miscarriage...Suprisingly, Warren seemed more upset about losing his powers then his murder of the unborn fetus.

      Finally most of the employees are a little creeped out about Warren.  Not only becuase of his openess about his sex escapades, but he has also been accused of sexual harrassment from multiple female cashiers. This passed weekend, a couple of cashiers finally came forward and went to the head manager of Wal Mart and told him of Warren's advances toward them. One of the cashiers told me that Warren actually reached into her pants and yelled "Wedgie!" as he pulled up her underwear...Supposedly he also grabbed her chest. I have trouble trusting the integrity of this cashier however....I have caught her in more then a couple of lies involving me and a few other stockmen. I have seen Warren touch cashiers on the shoulder and maybe say some explicit things to them like "So, you're 18 now huh?...cmon lets go" But i never thought he would go as far as to actually put his hand in a girls pants or touch her boob.  If the story is true, he will get what he deserves but if it isnt....well i guess i would feel sorry for him.

    Anyway, that is the story about Warren the bisexual pagan.  I didnt really touch on the fact that he always seems to have some sort of ailness in order for him not to work...ie, upset stomach, achy back, hurt foot, bloody nose, lack of sleep, etc....(it is kind of his trademark) Maybe ill cover that in a future blog....

 


Friday, July 21, 2006

Mentally Slow Mel

     For the xanga users, i realize that you all probably heard these stories before but i wrote this on my myspace blog and figured i would introduce some of the main characters first.  I naturally started with Mentally Slow Mel.

    Hey, as many of you know I push carts at Wal-Mart.  I have worked there for almost a year now and i have to admit that ive met some of the most interesting people there. If you dont believe me check out one of my co-worker's blogs that is pretty much dedicated to some of our fellow stockman (cartpushers) Aaron. http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Aaron_Snyder.....

      Now that I am in my last week at Wal-Mart I have decided to write about some of these interesting characters...(Most of the very interesting ones are interesting in very annoying ways.) Also I am not going to use their real names since I will be speaking negatively about most of them. I'll be using the names that Aaron gave them.

     Ill start with the most interesting and funny (not intentionally) person i have ever met. Ill call him Mel although Aaron refers to him as Mentally Slow Mel, and as some of you may have guessed, he is mentally slow.  I wouldnt necessarily call him retarded (i dont think he is) but he is definately not all there upstairs.

     A few months ago, he grew frustrated because another stockman (Chris) left work at 2:00 (his normal time). Mel was working on the west side (the slow side) with another stockman while he left Chris on the east side (the fast side) by himself. I know that it sounds unfair but Mel usually does the least amount of work possible with little regard of other stockmen.  Anyway Chris told Mel that he it was 2 and he was going home.  He suggested to Mel that he should go to the east side since Chris is leaving and nobody will be there.  Mel hates the east side since it requires the most work so he wasnt very happy to hear the news that Chris was leaving. Mel messed around for 15 minutes before he finally went over to the east side and of course there was no more carts.  One of the managers was pissed at Mel and gave him a stern talking to.  Mel felt that he didnt deserve the criticism and continued to put the blame on Chris rather then take the rightful blame for himself.  Later Mel was complaining to Aaron about what Chris did to him. Mel told Aaron "Im sick of Chris always leaving us hung like a horse!"lol....Im guessing that Mel was trying to say "Im sick of Chris always leaving us hanging" but im sure he was a little confused. (Which is usually the case).

       Another funny story regarding Mel involves another stockman that ill call Warren.  Warren is another very strange stockman.  To sum him up, he is a bisexual pagan who is also very lazy and is quite annoying. (Ill cover him in another blog). So Warren came out of the closet a few months ago. He made the mistake of telling a certain stockman that he was bi and the next day the entire store knew...including Mel.  Now Mel is a hardcore conservative so he doesnt believe in being homosexual.  Mel already disliked Warren but when he found out about Warren was bisexual, his feelings towards Warren turned to hatred. When i talked to Mel about Warren being bisexual, Mel (rather confused) referred to Warren as being a "lesbon"...I corrected him in saying that the proper wording is "lesbian" but i found it too funny to tell him the correct meaning of it....That was about 4 months ago and to this day he still refers to Warren as being a lesbian...lol

     Mel also tends to lie quite a bit.  If he ever gets in trouble or gets caught goofing off he is always quick to put the blame on another stockman....usually Aaron or me.  A couple of weeks ago he walked up to McDonalds while he was on the clock and talked to his girlfriend(she works at McDonalds. Now he talks to his girlfriend while on the clock quite often but he usually doesnt go all the way to McDonalds to do it. When he went to McDonalds he left another stockman by himself in the store. This stockman grew angry about Mel's disappearence and decided to call him on the walkie to find out where Mel was. Now nobody ever accused Mel of being smart and he proved their assumptions here. He responded to Cory (the stockman he left alone) "Im up at McDonalds!" Cory went outside to look and sure enough there was Mel waving down to Cory and the manager.  When Mel got back to the store the manager righfully yelled at him. Mel was pissed the rest of the day because he felt that he did nothing wrong. Later on when Aaron asked Mel what happened, Mel responded "I didnt do anything...it was Rick that went up to McDonalds" Now i wasnt even at work that day (i heard this story through Aaron and Cory) so i couldnt have been up at McDonalds while on the clock. Apparantly he didnt think his story all the way through before reciting it to Aaron, but thinking isnt really one of Mel's main characteristics.

    Well that is just a few things that i could say about Mel.  Ive only barely touched on the hilariousness that is Mentally Slow Mel so I will talk about him more in upcoming blogs.  


Thursday, July 13, 2006

Management

Ok, this is my first (real) blog entry.  I didnt think that this would be interesting but Aaron (my co-worker) encouraged me to post it.  This is an essay i wrote for my management class that emphasizes the importance of motivating employees.  I received a 90% on it btw....well here it is.....

Motivation

            Motivation is an essential aspect to creating a positive and efficient workspace.  Proper motivation of employees by management can substantially raise morale and improve the turnover rate.  Motivated workers feel like they have a good reason to put forth their best efforts and do what is in the best interest of the company and its goals.  Worker’s who are not properly motivated start to believe that their work doesn’t matter and that they will not be noticed either way.  They feel unimportant and unappreciated.  Unmotivated workers tend to do unsatisfactory work and they quit caring about the organization’s goals.

            Motivation is one of the most important skills that a manager must possess.  A manager who can motivate his or her employees will notice happy employees with a positive work ethic.  Studies have shown that there is a direct link between recognition received and performance on the job.  Employees and Supervisors agree that recognition help strive employees toward the desired performance.  A simple thank you for doing good work can increase the likelihood of a repeat performance. (“The Leaders Role”)

            I am currently employed at the Washington Wal-Mart so I know a lot about what proper motivation can do for employees.  The managers at Wal-Mart have no skill at properly motivating Wal-Mart “associates”.  The managers’ lack of interest towards their

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employees really shows in the employee’s work ethics, including my own.  I often hear other employees utter the words “I just don’t care anymore”, and it shows in their work. 

Wal-Mart managers care more about what the employees are doing wrong then what they are doing right.  If the managers would take some time to notice the hard work that the

employees put into their jobs, the employees would be a lot happier and their work would be more satisfactory.

            Most defects at the workplace is a result of managers who do not encourage or motivate their employees.  Studies show that most people quit a firm because of frustration with a supervisor or manager.  A gallop poll was taken last year and the results show that 19 percent of workers felt no connection with their job.  The workers complained that they received no recognition from their supervisors and that their managers didn’t care about them as people or how they developed within the company. (Kazel)

Another important factor of proper motivation is the turnover rate.  If employees are happy and motivated to do good work, they will be more inclined to stay.  If the employees feel unimportant and unappreciated, they may see no reason to stay.  At Wal-Mart we have a whopping 62% turnover rate.  Just last month, we had 20 cashiers quit at the same time.  We are severely short handed in every department because it is impossible to hire enough help due the rate that the employees are quitting.  This actually has multiple negative effects.  Not only does it cause us to be severely shorthanded, but being shorthanded lowers the morale of the employees even more.  I hear the employees constantly complaining because they have to wait so long into their shift before they get

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their lunch since there is nobody to relieve them of their job.  It is like a constant downward spiral that cannot be fixed until worker morale is raised, and a quick easy solution is for the managers to show appreciation to the employees and give them a little motivation.

            A good way to show appreciation is to offer raises, bonuses, or even an employee dinner of some sort for the employees that have to work on holidays.  Nothing shows appreciation and motivates employees more then a raise.  If an employee receives a raise, he knows that the managers appreciate him and he will strive to do his best at work.  Another good way to motivate workers is to set out food or entertainment for them during

their breaks.  For example, have a Christmas dinner out for the employees who have to work on Christmas Eve.  At Wal-Mart, employees never earn a raise that isn’t a scheduled raise and the managers took away every bonus that we used to have.  This doesn’t bode well for the moral or turnover rate. 

            Avis Car Rental has a program that recognizes its outstanding workers.  The workers nominate their co-workers online.  John Harland recognizes its star workers by mentioning them in a company newsletter and showcasing them in a video.  Sovereign Bank recognizes their workers with rewards like gift certificates and travel vouchers. (Dunham)  These companies do this in an attempt to raise worker morale and motivate them to do the best of their abilities.

            When I first started at Wal-Mart I didn’t really realize the importance of managers motivating the employees.  After working at Wal-Mart for an extended period of time, I started to feel unappreciated. I realized that almost all of the workers at Wal-Mart were

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unmotivated.  If the managers would have taken some time to thank some of the hard working employees it would have greatly improved the workspace.  I didn’t know when I started that motivation was an attribute that most managers are required to have.  After reading thru this lesson, I am happy and surprised that it is important enough of an issue to be covered in a class like this. I agree with everything this lesson said about motivation, especially the part about employee bonuses. 

 


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Xanga

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